Valentines Day

OK, so you are trying to conceive and it has been taking a while and nothing has happened. You have maybe even got to the stage of seeing your doctor about it or even gone as far as making an appointment at a fertility clinic. It can get very hard to see through the fog of infertility once you get on that path, but you still have to manage to get through your everyday life as well.

On of the problems with trying to conceive is the timing and the constant worry that you won’t get pregnant. Taking temperatures, using ovulation kits and having scans and blood tests take their toll on both of you. Having sex takes over the idea of making love and the juggling act of masturbating and abstaining take over the intimate relationship that you used to have.

This whole period of time is going to be very stressful for even the calmest of couples – add into that mix the fluctuation of medications controlling your hormones and tempers can flare. At the end of the day whether your quest to have a baby is successful or not you have to consider your relationship and make sure that it stays intact.

There is a great difference between what people think about Valentines Day, it is one of those love it or hate it holidays. Yes, it does get over commercialized and the candy and sappy cards appear in the stores before the needles have even dried out on the Christmas tree, but either way it is going to come around every year and the only way to avoid it is to live in a cave.

My advice to you would be to take this day and forget all about your infertility, treatment options, temperature taking, ovulation kits and ejaculation instructions. Focus on each other, what makes you happy and what you can do for and with each other to reconnect in a real way.

If the age old standby of candy and flowers works for you then sure, go for it. Maybe a candle lit dinner, a romantic evening in a hotel, a walk by the lake or it might even be a night in the bowling alley – whatever floats your boat! Whatever you do end up in bed together, and without the idea of trying to conceive, just rekindle what might have got lost in the battle of conception.

Whatever you do though, please remember that if you sprinkle rose petals in your bed you will wake up on crunchy potpourri!